Making School Kids Turn in Their Cell Phones: Unconscionable Search and Seizure?
You're kidding, right?
Sorry, but I can’t stop smiling at The Houston Chronicle’s coverage of a cell phone ban at Houston’s troubled Madison High School, where the principal says cell phone videos are sparking fights.
In an early version of the story, the Chronicle quoted two freshmen students at Madison who said the root cause of violence at their school was not cell phones but the academic reform policies of Houston Superintendent Mike Miles. I notice that those quotes seem to have disappeared from later versions of the story.
In the first version, a freshman student told the paper, “It’s not even really about the phones. It’s how they’re wasting the environment with the materials they’re trying to provide us.”
I tried to think. “Materials they’re trying to provide us.” It’s not explained in the story. Does she mean test papers? Is this dear thing concerned about harm to the environment caused by test papers?
An unnamed staff person was quoted calling the policy “unconscionable search and seizure.” I don’t know. They’re kids. My conscience can handle it.
At one point recently, a few students upset becuase they had to turn in their phones staged what the paper called a “walk-out” over the policy, which requires students to surrender their phones for the day when they arrive at school in the morning.
I wish I had thought of that when I was in high school. “Oh, no sir, I wasn’t skipping class. I was walking out.”
Under the policy, the kids gets the cell phones back at the end of the day. If they cheat and get caught smuggling a phone in, the phone is confiscated and can only be redeemed in person by a parent.
But what if they do it again? I did some research this morning and came up with what I think could be a solution in that case. I believe it should be done as sort of a ceremony on the front lawn so it could be witnessed by the whole school.
The device I’m looking at, which I’m sure can be leased, is called a twin-shaft metal shredder. A web page advertising the machines says: “These high-torque low-speed shredders feature a unique cutter configuration that enables efficient operation.”
Shades of “Fargo?” Well, not intended, really.
Ahhhh, the esteemed wood chipper. Might take a bit of getting used to but, diligently applied, it would solve a lot of problems. The scene in Fargo is a sacred text.
I have no problem with this policy in theory, but I do have some practical issues. How do you make sure each kid gets the right phone back at the end of the day?
These things can cost over 100 bucks very easy, and many of them look exactly alike. You'd have to have an individual labeled baggie for each phone and the kid would have to show ID to prove ownership of the phone. That's a lot of administrative work involving lots of people. And a lot of time spent at the opening and end of the day.
You can't just say don't bring phones to school because kids may need to contact someone at the end of the day. Or maybe you CAN say just don't bring phones to school.